Once you and your spouse have decided it’s time to divorce, you need to be prepared for a rocky few months. Divorce is not instantaneous and you must carry on dealing with each other while the divorce progresses, which may not be easy.
A range of emotions could surface, such as anger, guilt or hurt that make seeing each other difficult. Yet, unless you can afford for one of you to move out, or have friends and family willing to put you up, you’ll need to continue living together until you finalize the divorce. The following tips may help:
1. Define your spaces
It is usually possible in all but the smallest homes to work out some way to split the spaces between you. While you might need to share certain spaces, such as the kitchen, having separate places to sleep and keep your things is important. It helps you separate yourselves mentally and reduces the chance of conflict over mess or getting in each other’s way.
2. Try to separate your schedules
If you only have one kitchen (like most folk) you may want to adjust your schedules to avoid using it at the same time. For example, perhaps you start work earlier so you can have breakfast before your spouse comes downstairs. Or, maybe they grab a coffee on the way to work instead of having breakfast at home on the days you have time to linger over breakfast.
3. Agree on how you will manage the finances
Maybe you agree to both pay into a joint bank account to cover the bills, or perhaps you take one set of bills and your spouse the other. Think about food shopping – will you still shop and cook for each other to save money? Or will you each look after your own needs?
If you have children, you need to think even harder about how to make things work. The important thing is to discuss how you will do things so you can make it work as best as possible until one or both of you can move out. This is just one of the many things to learn more about when divorcing.