The benefits of communicating during and after divorce are numerous. Good communication can help reduce the stress and anxiety that often accompany divorce, it can help improve co-parenting relationships, it can help children adjust to the changes associated with divorce, and it can make the divorce process itself go more smoothly. The question is, how do you communicate effectively during and after divorce?
Be objective, and make it regular
Being objective means keeping your emotions in check, and not letting them get in the way of clear communication. If you need to, take some time to calm down before you discuss things with your ex-partner. It can also be helpful to set up regular times to communicate – whether that’s daily, weekly or monthly. Having set times to talk will help to make communication a regular part of your post-divorce life, and can make it less likely that emotions will get in the way.
Respect is important in any relationship, but it’s especially important in a co-parenting relationship. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything your ex-partner says or does – but it does mean listening to their point of view, and treating them with courtesy and consideration.
Keep the focus on the children
If you have children together, it’s important to keep the focus on them. This means not using them as a way to get back at your ex-partner, or using them as a sounding board for your own frustrations. It also means not bad-mouthing your ex-partner in front of the children. Instead, try to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship with your ex-partner, and on the needs of your children.
Be willing to compromise
Compromise is an important part of effective communication. It’s not always possible to get what you want, so be prepared to meet your ex-partner halfway. For example, if you can’t agree on a parenting schedule, try to come up with a schedule that works for both of you.
Communicating during and after divorce can be difficult, but it’s important to try to do it in a way that is respectful, objective and focused on the needs of your children. If you can do this, it will make the divorce process easier for you and your family.