Emotional aspects of divorce are often some of the most difficult to handle. These usually come in waves, so you might feel happy for a bit and then sad after. While knowing what to expect won’t take these feelings away, it can help you to have an idea of how to handle them when they happen.
One factor that you have to determine is why you are going through the emotion. Even though you know it is tied to the divorce, you need to figure out why it is happening right now.
The divorce is the end of a chapter of your life. People going through a divorce usually won’t think that they are going to feel sad that the marriage is over. While you will likely feel mostly happy, some memories trigger sorrow. You may grieve over the fact that you wasted so much time in the union. You might feel upset that you missed out on so much while you were married. These are normal feelings that can overwhelm you, so find ways that you can work through them.
Focus on the positives
Trying to remain positive throughout the process can benefit your emotional state. It is easy to focus on the negatives, but this will make you feel worse. Think about all the good things that you are experiencing that wouldn’t be possible because of the divorce. Maybe you were able to advance more in your career since you are single or you may have the chance to travel more now. No matter what you are enjoying, make a note so you can look back on it when you are feeling down.
Plan for the future
The uncertainty that comes with divorce is often hard to handle. Planning for your future puts you in control so that you aren’t left wondering what direction your life will take. Set big goals, but jot down short-term ones that will help you meet the final goals. Think about multiple aspects of your life – career, family, social and financial. You can plan for each one, so you have a well-rounded plan.
Remember, your divorce settlement might help you with your new life. Try to walk away with terms that won’t make things more difficult. For example, don’t take on all the assets that have expenses associated with them. Instead, try to balance this with what you can afford. You will only be able to count on your income during this time.